A New Beginning

This is my first post as a Dominant. It's a very new feeling, and I'm still trying to adjust to it. All my life I have felt very submissive and scared to take control. However, in this new arrangement, I am charged with taking control, making sure that my lover's needs are met as well as mine. In many ways being a dominant is being submissive to her needs.

We have tried the D/s thing before, just a few months ago in fact. It seemed to go ok for a little bit, but it stalled. At first I wasn't sure why it did, but as we switched roles it seems to make a bit more sense. We tried her being the dominant one, since she does have the stronger personality. But, things didn't seem to click. It was just within the past few days that we decided to switch roles and see what happened. Well, so far so good. It seems as if the role change has made a difference. I think that the roles will be good for the both of us. Some of the pressure that she feels of having to be the strong one will let up and I will have to step up and take more of a leading role in the relationship. That will be very different for me, but perhaps it is what we need.

The sex has been incredible, but that has me worried that it will be expected to be that way every time. There are so many things that we can explore, but sometimes all I will be in the mood for is just a quick "vanilla" session. I worry that my lack of creativity will get in the way and we find ourselves repeating the same things over and over again, in which case I think we will both find ourselves feeling as though we are in a rut. But, there are endless possibilities out there and I just need to do the research and try them. The only failed activity is the one that isn't attempted. We will have fun in the process regardless as to how it goes.

I feel a strong sense of responsibility as we embark on this adventure. I think that I have what it takes, but there's always the what if's. However, I have lived my life up to this point always worried about the what if's. I think that it is time to plunge ahead and do the best that I can. I hope that this is not a short term thing and that we really can incorporate this into our lives as a regular thing. I have made some "concessions" to her in that she is still free to pursue the activities that keep her sane. Also, she has the freedom to have sex with other men. She is required, however, to write about those adventures in a blog that I ordered her to create. We will see how that goes. There's a part of me that worries about it and the effect it will have on us. But, knowing me and knowing her, it will probably ramp up our sex lives and actually be quite fun. I do look forward to having other people be involved in our sessions from time to time, using her as the focal point and ordering her to do what I want with the other person.

Anyway, that's about it for this first post. I will write more. I hope that this will serve as a good way for her to get into my head a little bit more and key her in as to what I am thinking.