Turning It Up a Notch

That's my goal...to turn it up a notch. It is something that my pet has asked for in her blog as well as face to face. It is also something that I am pretty lost over. It is a balancing act in our lives. With kids at home, obviously I cannot have her in a collar all the time nor would she go for that I do not believe. But, I suppose there are things that I can do that are subtle enough for her to serve Me and for her to be submissive to Me without raising suspicion on the part of the kids.

So, my task becomes one of developing a service plan and protocols. Also the whens and the wheres of such a thing. The past day or so, she hasn't been very submissive. So, perhaps with a plan or protocol in place that might change. Granted, I haven't done much in terms of redirecting her, so it is on My shoulders.

One thing that I have learned through reading, watching, and experience is that being a Dom carries quite a responsibility. That has Me scared and concerned some. I think I mentioned it in a previous post, but by nature I'm not exactly a powerful presence. So, this will be a learning and growing experience for Myself as well. I think, though, that for both of U/us, it will be the right path to go.

Anyway, that's about all I have for now. I have some routines to write....

The Morning After

Last night was our first visit to a local BDSM club. Needless to say, we were blown away. Neither one of us had ever seen anything like this. There was flogging, whipping, smacking and a whole host of other activities going on. I was pretty overwhelmed by the whole thing and it has me questioning things just a little bit. I am not going to throw in the towel on this. These activities and this lifestyle is something that we both want. It was just a little wild to see all of this. It made me feel like the novice that I truly am.

I know, though, that everyone in that club started where we did. One of the things that pet and I talked about was the need for me to find a mentor. I agree with that completely. If we are to do this right, then the guiding hand of someone experienced is the way to go. We will make mistakes, but we will be less likely to make the mistakes that can really mess things up if we have a mentor. The next trick is to find a good mentor. From what I have read, that can be a formidable challenge in and of itself. There are lots of people out there who advertise themselves as "masters" but aren't much more experienced than I am. I think that by going back to the club and attending the local workshops, I am likely to find someone that would be willing to mentor me.

I also haven't been feeling super dominant of late. I'm not sure what has gotten into me in regards to that. It could be because we haven't played much lately. I know that when we play I do feel more dominant. So, maybe the answer is to play more. It's just a little overwhelming. So much to do and get in place and no idea where to start.

Anyway, this post is just me whining. LOL. So, I think I will end it before it gets too much further. We are going to a BDSM Beginners discussion on Wednesday night. Hopefully I will be able to get some questions answered there.

Until next time....

A slutty pet

So, yesterday was an interesting day. My pet decided that she was horny, so she needed to look at pictures of other people, especially pictures of other guys' cocks. This was done with my permission, of course. I know that she gets off on that, and that can only benefit me.

She shared the pictures and the correspondence with me, and I will admit it got me worked up as well. I know that there is a threesome or possibly moresome in our future. We will be putting an ad out on Craig's List soon for our overnight stay in Chicago next month. I think it would be fun to play with another guy in a strange city for a night.

The other thing yesterday that was interesting is that we bought an under the bed restraint system. Of course when we got it home, we just HAD to try it out. I think it will become one of our favorite toys. I strapped her in, and proceeded to use a rubber flogger on her thighs and rubbed over her tits and cunt. All the while, I was calling her a slut for her activities earlier in the day. I'm not sure that I had ever seen her so turned on before.

Following the flogging, I got up on the bed and fucked her mouth almost to the point of cumming. But, I didn't want to cum yet, so I released her legs and fucked her cunt. Finally, I unhooked her arms from the restraints and made her suck me off until I came. Following that, I used a flexible paddle on her ass for good measure.

That's the roughest that we've been so far, and she liked it. I certainly know that I liked it. I find that every day I get more into being a Dom and not just the physical aspects of it either. I love the confidence that it brings me to know that I have a strong personality. For so long I've been meek, quiet, and timid. That seems to be changing and I really like it.

On the flip side, though, I do worry about it some. I was raised to be kind and gentle and to treat people well. But, this is the way that pet wants to go. So, if she is happy, I am certainly happy. In fact, I haven't felt this happy in a long, long time.

I want to learn as much as I can. We are going to one of the local BDSM clubs this coming Saturday night for what they call a Gateway class. This gives us an intro into the Community and the lifestyle in general. I'm so eager to learn to be the best Dom/Master that I can. I know that I have a real responsibility to treat my pet right.

Who knows where all of this will go. We've even talked about (kidding mostly, but who knows) finding a live-in slave in a couple of years once the kids move out. The thought is intriguing, but I know at this point we aren't ready for something like that.

We are going to have a couple of kid free hours tonight, so maybe some more fun will come our way. Until next time....

The Urge to Dominate

I find myself wanting to get deeper into this. I was reading a book on slave training last night, and the feeling came over me of wanting to dominate someone thoroughly.

It's ironic, because I've never seen myself as someone who wants total control, but I guess looking back it is something that has appealed to me. I've just never had the courage to go that route. Plus, my upbringing has taught me that all people are equal and that for one to dominate another is just wrong.

But, one thing that I have learned is that this lifestyle is all about choices. People make the choice to be submissive just as others make the choice to be Dominant. It isn't for us to judge or decide who's lifestyle is right or wrong. As long as it is consenual, then generally I don't see an issue with it.

We are still trying to find a balance in our lives with this new life. I know that she would not want to be a slave full time. she is concerned that by doing so, it would strip all of her personality away. I have that concern as well. she has a bit of a wild streak in her, for lack of a better term. she has needs in order to keep her sane and happy, and I/we worry that if she doesn't have those outlets, then it would result in unhappiness. Don't get me wrong, she does want to do this, we just don't know the extent of it yet. Something for us to figure out, I suppose.

Right now we are a bit excited as we will be taking a trip out of down for a few days in early June for a family wedding. We are hoping to line something up with a third for some play. We have done that before, but not in the context of a D/s situation. So, that adds a level of excitement to it that we haven't experienced before. Should be interesting!

Well, that's about it for today. I shall be back tomorrow. Until then....

Inspection day

So, after a good weekend, it is back to the grind of daily life. Things felt strange between my pet and I this morning. I think much of it was because of our session last night.

Yesterday, she asked for the opportunity to present herself 2-3 times a week to me. We came up with Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday as those days. The other days of the week just had too many variables for us, so this is what we came up with.

Sundays are to be inspection days. At this point, I have very few inspection rules for her. Only two, as a matter of fact: pubic hair trimmed and hair dyed red. She passed with flying colors as she dyed her hair yesterday and cleaned up her pubic hair at some point within the past couple of days. I feel, though, that I was ill-prepared for the inspection. Since she passed, she was rewarded with sex, particularly oral sex. I went down on her and gave her an intense orgasm. Something unique (at least I think so) about my pet is that her orgasms when I go down on her are much more intense than any other that she can have. It takes awhile to get there, but it is well worth it. I figured that would be a good reward for her.

After me going down on her, I got on top of her and started fucking. I was distracted, though. I felt like the whole inspection thing was forced and not genuine. Perhaps it was because it was rushed having been planned at the last minute. Maybe it was the way I conducted it. I did it in a very formal manner, almost like a school teacher. She said it felt awkward because of that. We have had problems in the past where I would drift off during sex, my mind in a different place and not present. It has caused many issues between us. I can truthfully say, though, that my mind was focused on how things could have been better. Sometimes I get too analytical. I think that was one of those times. I feel a sense of pressure sometimes being the one "in charge."

Tonight is supposed to be another presentation night, but this one is focused more on play. I have a couple of ideas running through my head, but I think to make things "better" I need to communicate what I want prior to us getting into the bedroom. That way we both have an idea of what to expect. I want things to be fun with little pressure. I worry that both of us will have built things up so high in our minds that it will just fall apart. I think that our inexperience in this realm has a lot to do with it. I think that by going to the Sanctuary this coming weekend will help. Hearing about the lifestyle from people that have been in it will make a difference.

Anyway, that's it for now. I have some plans that I need to put together.

Sunday

It is a beautiful day today, and I took advantage of the weather by doing some yard work. It isn't an activity I particularly enjoy, but it is something that needs to be done, I suppose. This whole weekend has been pretty much devoted to working around the house. Depressingly, it doesn't look like we did much, even though we did. That's not entirely true, though. Pet did a wonderful job upstairs in our bedroom and bathroom and my son did a great job in cleaning up his room. The kitchen looks better than it did and the outside is looking better with the yard mowed and weeds trimmed. So, I guess things are better than they have been.

It has been a different weekend for me. I feel like I need to maintain a dominant role, but really haven't had much of an opportunity to do so. In fact, in many cases it seems as if I am back to being the submissive one which I really was not pleased with. Pet must be punished for that, but coming up with a punishment that doesn't involve pain or humiliation seems to be difficult for me. I do need to come up with something, though, or else this is pointless. If we are to live this way, it cannot always be about the pleasure, which is pretty damn fun.

Becoming a dom also involves me changing. And maybe that's what I'm having the most difficulty with. I need to see opportunities as they arise and take them. I need to know what needs to be done. I cannot rely on pet anymore to do that. She needs to be able to rely on me for these things. It is a pretty big role reversal for both of us. But, I know that for her, she wants to be able to let go of the control, and I really want to have control. We will find what works for us eventually.

Now, though, it is time for me to find a suitable punishment for my pet's insolence.

Easing In

So, we've been at this a couple of days now and I'm still easing into it, trying to feel around and get an idea of what we both want out of it. It feels as if we are both leaning to a situation where we are living this lifestyle more often than not. She has stated that she wants to maintain some independence from time to time in order to do some of those things like ride, go out with friends, etc. I am fine with that. There are times where I am sure that we both want to do things independent of each other.

Right now the most difficult thing I'm trying to figure out are the rules for this. I've come up with two so far: She must keep her hair dyed red and her pubic hair trimmed. Beyond that, I do not know. There's a part of me that wants to be really restrictive, but I don't want there to be any resentment. But, if I am too easy then it sort of defeats the whole purpose of it. But, it all goes back to how deep we want to delve into it. So, something for us to figure out, or maybe for me to figure out.

I need to start keeping a ledger of sorts to keep track of those things that she has pleased me with and those that have made me upset. For example, I mentioned that it would be nice to have a bookcase in the bedroom and she took the initiative while cleaning today to put a set of shelves in there. That's definitely bonus points there. On the flip side, she has on a few occasions told me what to do, which has been the normal pattern of our life these past several years. I know that we both have habits and ways of doing things that we need to break if we are to embrace these roles.

Anyway, that's it for now. I will be back later.

A New Beginning

This is my first post as a Dominant. It's a very new feeling, and I'm still trying to adjust to it. All my life I have felt very submissive and scared to take control. However, in this new arrangement, I am charged with taking control, making sure that my lover's needs are met as well as mine. In many ways being a dominant is being submissive to her needs.

We have tried the D/s thing before, just a few months ago in fact. It seemed to go ok for a little bit, but it stalled. At first I wasn't sure why it did, but as we switched roles it seems to make a bit more sense. We tried her being the dominant one, since she does have the stronger personality. But, things didn't seem to click. It was just within the past few days that we decided to switch roles and see what happened. Well, so far so good. It seems as if the role change has made a difference. I think that the roles will be good for the both of us. Some of the pressure that she feels of having to be the strong one will let up and I will have to step up and take more of a leading role in the relationship. That will be very different for me, but perhaps it is what we need.

The sex has been incredible, but that has me worried that it will be expected to be that way every time. There are so many things that we can explore, but sometimes all I will be in the mood for is just a quick "vanilla" session. I worry that my lack of creativity will get in the way and we find ourselves repeating the same things over and over again, in which case I think we will both find ourselves feeling as though we are in a rut. But, there are endless possibilities out there and I just need to do the research and try them. The only failed activity is the one that isn't attempted. We will have fun in the process regardless as to how it goes.

I feel a strong sense of responsibility as we embark on this adventure. I think that I have what it takes, but there's always the what if's. However, I have lived my life up to this point always worried about the what if's. I think that it is time to plunge ahead and do the best that I can. I hope that this is not a short term thing and that we really can incorporate this into our lives as a regular thing. I have made some "concessions" to her in that she is still free to pursue the activities that keep her sane. Also, she has the freedom to have sex with other men. She is required, however, to write about those adventures in a blog that I ordered her to create. We will see how that goes. There's a part of me that worries about it and the effect it will have on us. But, knowing me and knowing her, it will probably ramp up our sex lives and actually be quite fun. I do look forward to having other people be involved in our sessions from time to time, using her as the focal point and ordering her to do what I want with the other person.

Anyway, that's about it for this first post. I will write more. I hope that this will serve as a good way for her to get into my head a little bit more and key her in as to what I am thinking.